Porn for Women.

I was doing a male clients hair a while back and he dished about some problems that he was having in his marriage.  This isn’t as common as my female clients talking and letting off steam, but as it happens men sometimes like to lay it out on the table when they also feel like they need someone to talk to. He and his wife recently had their first child and he was feeling sort of left out and under appreciated. In and out of the bedroom. He said his wife was too tired to make time for him with the new baby. Cooking and cleaning became more of a chore while trying to get their baby on some sort of schedule. Not to mention it was their first and they were both just trying to figure out what the hell they were doing. He then added that his wife had no desire for sex and it was really starting to bother him. He was coming from more of an angry place than a tired, worn out place. So just being an outsider and seeing this story played out for years on various tv shows, I asked him if he goes out of his way to tell his wife what a great job she’s doing. What a good mother she’s turning out to be, how beautiful she looks with the baby, etc. “Are you complimenting her efforts and reassuring her that she’s doing a great job?” Not to mention that during  pregnancy and afterwards, a woman’s hormones are all over the place.  He saw no reason to because frankly he was annoyed that she wouldn’t have sex with him anymore, so why should he have to be nice to her. I reminded him, that is exactly why you should do, and say those things! I asked him if he ever saw the “All in the family” episode where Mike (meat head) and Gloria have Joey and he complains about the same issue’s. She was wiped out but when he stopped complaining and asking for attention, and gave her a little, she became a different person and responded a little more “friendlier” towards him in exchange. It’s really common sense to me.  There are even books out poking fun at the fact that foreplay for women could be a guy washing dishes for her or cleaning the house. I thought that if my clients wife saw him helping more and complimenting and just being more receptive to her needs and feelings, she’d react in a way that was more appealing towards him. Also it wouldn’t kill him to be a little patient considering what his wife went through and is going through on a daily basis while he’s at work.  After a while he understood where I was coming from but he first had to let go of his ego a bit to let it sink in. Needless to say that one of the next times we spoke not only were they having sex again, but they both had a little more respect towards each other and the work that they both put into their marriage individually.  I even got a little “thank you” call from her after he admitted to talking to me about the subject. I felt a little funny about her knowing I gave him my opinion on their issues but she put me at ease after thanking me and telling me she had to get off the phone so she could have sex with her husband!